Dancing With Doubt.

How doubt becomes a door to knowing God more.

Hey Friends!

Before you jump into this week’s article, I just wanted to make sure that you were aware that The Lighthouse is a podcast too. Each week I record and post this same article, because I know some people prefer to listen rather than read. If that’s you, subscribe to The Lighthouse Podcast wherever you listen. For sake of ease, you can find links to subscribe on Spotify and Apple Podcasts below. I hope it’s helpful!

- Ryan

I used to take tap dance lessons.

Now, you’re probably picturing me as an adorable little boy click-clacking across the studio floor. But you’d be wrong. I was a junior in high school.

Yes, a junior.

I was a 17-year-old guy in a beginner tap class that included about fifteen 6-year-old girls in pink tights and, wait for it…my mom. To be honest, I’m not sure which part of that sentence is the most awkward. To make matters decidedly worse, one day my mom pulled up to school to pick me up for our class with my taps tied to the side mirror of the car. She was in the carpool line honking and screaming out the window, “Honey, it’s time for our tap class!” That story alone should put to bed any questions about why I spent four years in therapy.

Football, believe it or not, was the primary reason I was willing to subject myself and others to this fiasco. I read that some NFL players took dance classes to help with their footwork, so I figured I would give it a shot. The good news is, I scored a ton of touchdowns that year. The bad news is, well, I think we’re all clear at this point on what the bad news was…

While football was my primary motivator, I’d be lying if I said it was the only one. The truth is, I’ve always loved dance. Singin’ in the Rain was one of my favorite movies as a kid, and I adored Gene Kelly. I’m also not ashamed to admit that I still cry every time I watch La La Land or The Greatest Showman. There is something about the combination of music and dance that touches something within me.

Dance, when done well, is a beautiful blend of rhythm and movement, where every step and gesture flows seamlessly. The best dancers move with precision and grace, their bodies communicating in perfect harmony. The joy of dance lies in this connection, where everyone moves together, creating a fluid and captivating performance. It’s an expression of emotion and energy, simple yet profound, showcasing the beauty of being in tune with both the music and each other. It’s inherently responsive.

I bring this all up because I believe dance is a helpful and accurate image of how you and I are invited to respond to the inevitability of doubt in our prayer lives. Doubt lives on a spectrum. On one end, you have doubts about the very existence of God. Maybe you’re in a season where you really aren’t sure. That’s fair! Belief in a God we can’t see is a big ask.

More often, we live somewhere on the other end of the spectrum. You may not so much doubt God’s existence, but every person of faith has times when they doubt His character and capability. At times, we all doubt that God is who He says He is in Scripture and that He is capable of all Scripture claims.

If we don’t steward these very natural and normal doubts carefully, they have a way of sabotaging our prayer lives. Think about it. Who wants to talk to a God they believe may not exist? Who wants to talk to a God that they aren’t sure loves them? Who wants to ask a God for help that they’re not certain has the power to provide what they need?

You see, two things are true:

ONE. Doubt is a part of faith.

I’ve never met a follower of Jesus I admire that did not experience seasons of doubt. Furthermore, from the desperate father of Mark 9 to the Apostle Thomas in John 20, Scripture holds up examples of doubt in the lives of those who love and trust Jesus. To be a person of faith is to experience seasons of doubt.

TWO. It’s better to dance with doubt than wrestle with it.

I’ve almost always heard doubt framed as a wrestling match between it and faith. The problem with that framing is that it positions doubt in a pejorative light. But we should not demonize doubt. In fact, I’ve found it to be a doorway through which God has, in fact, deepened my faith.

So, doubt is an inevitable part of faith, and it’s better to dance with doubt than wrestle with it. Jesus has deposited an endless number of invitations within our seasons of doubt. So the question is, how do we learn to dance with doubt? Let me share five thoughts:

1. Honor doubts by naming them.

Doubt is often a disorienting experience for people of faith. We view all of life through the lens of our faith, so when it’s in question, it’s easy to feel upside down. As a result, we are often reticent to admit doubt’s presence. But if we can embrace doubt as an invitation to deeper faith, we can openly honor its presence and purpose in our lives. So rather than ignore or suppress them, honor your doubts by naming them.

2. Bring your doubt to Jesus.

One of the things I love about the story of Thomas in John 20 is that he doesn’t hide his doubts from Jesus. When Thomas receives reports that Jesus is alive, he responds (quite rationally, I might add) by saying, “If I don’t see the mark of the nails in his hands, put my finger into the mark of the nails, and put my hand into his side, I will never believe.” A week later, Jesus shows up, and rather than walk back his doubts, pretending like he didn’t have any, Thomas walks right up to Jesus, touches His hands, examines His side, and then believes. So rather than beat up on Thomas for his doubts, be like Thomas. Bring your doubts to Jesus.

3. Dig for the root of them.

One thing I’ve observed about doubt is that it’s rarely an intellectual issue alone. What I mean is, our doubts tend to surface in response to emotional, environmental, and relational experiences. It’s almost never just a theological endeavor. We need to beg the Spirit for discernment. We need to ask good questions. We need to be sometimes painfully honest and self-aware. Which is why this next point is so crucial.

4. Seek out support for them.

Christian community should always be a safe place for doubt. Sadly, it’s not. You may have endured the traumatic experience of being shamed for your doubts. If so, please hear how sorry I am. Jesus doesn’t shame you, and neither should anyone else. Doubt, again, is a normative part of faith. But if you’ve been shamed for doubt in the past, you may be understandably hesitant to want to open up with others about it. That’s fair. And doubt poses a great danger to our faith when we only dance with it in private. If you aren’t confident you have some safe community in your life with which to be open, consider finding a spiritual director like me. Spiritual direction is ideally designed to help us walk through seasons of doubt. Whatever you do, don’t try to go it alone.

5. Be patient with them.

I end here for a reason. Dancing our way through seasons of doubt is rarely a quick process. It’s arduous. It’s uncomfortable. Most significantly, it’s slow. Doubt comes from deep places within us, so it tends to take time to work through. And that’s okay! The only place you need to be is exactly where you are because that’s where Jesus is! So be patient with yourself and with the process.

Jesus isn’t impatiently waiting for you on the other side of your doubts. He’s right in the middle of them with you.

I know it can be scary.

And I know that it’s hard.

But if you can let go of the need to defeat your doubts and instead learn to dance with the invitations of Jesus within them, there is always a deeper experience of Him within them. So when doubt inevitably raises its head, imagine Jesus inviting you to dance.