Jesus & My Doubts
Exploring Jesus' response to the doubts we experience.
Let’s talk more about doubt.
Doubt is one of the most common experiences shared by Christians, yet few want to discuss it. Somewhere along the way, we’ve adopted the idea that doubt is a bad thing. We’ve bought into the lie that good Christians don’t experience doubt. But the Bible is filled with examples of people who loved God while struggling with doubt. I’ve walked with Jesus since childhood, and I grew up struggling with doubt. I’ve been a pastor for almost 20 years, and I still struggle with doubt.
The truth is, everyone has doubts about God. So the question is, what do we do with them?
I would argue that the most important place to start is by understanding Jesus’ perspective on and posture toward our doubt. Let’s look at Jesus’ interaction with a man named Thomas, whose name has become almost synonymous with doubt. We find his story in John 20.
If you don’t know, John 20-21 records John’s account of Jesus’ resurrection and the events that followed, leading up to His ascension. Chapter 20 starts with Mary Magdalene finding the tomb empty and running off to tell Peter and John. Peter then confirms her report. Jesus appears to Mary Magdalene as she weeps outside the tomb, and she runs to tell the disciples. That same night, Sunday night, Jesus appeared to the disciples.
“But one of the twelve, Thomas (called Twin), was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples were telling him, ‘We’ve seen the Lord!’ But he said to them, ‘If I don’t see the mark of the nails in His hands, put my finger into the mark of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will never believe!’”
- John 20:24-25
Poor Thomas has received a really bad reputation. Imagine being memorialized in history as the guy who doubted. Noah built an ark, Moses parted the Red Sea, Joshua toppled Jericho, Esther saved Israel, David defeated Goliath, Mary gave birth to the Messiah, and Thomas…doubted. The truth is, we should cut him some slack. Can you imagine this?
Imagine, sadly, that your Gam Gam died. On Friday, you attend her funeral. You see her cold, dead, lifeless body in a casket. You witness the casket being put in the ground. By Friday night, you’re 100% convinced that Gam Gam is what? DEAD! Now imagine, on Sunday morning, you come home from church and your family says, “You’re not going to believe this! We just talked to Gam Gam!” You would think they were nuts! It’s a great reason to be skeptical. That simply doesn’t happen.
So Thomas doubts for understandable reasons. For his doubts to be dispelled, he would need to see Jesus for himself.
“A week later His disciples were indoors again, and Thomas was with them. Even though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them. ‘Peace be with you,’ He said. Then He said to Thomas, ‘Put your finger here and look at My hands. Reach out your hand and put it into My side. Don’t be faithless, but believe.’”
- John 20:26-27
Especially if you’ve been a Christian for a while, it’s easy to fly past details in the Bible out of familiarity. So, stop and think about this.
One week later, on the next Sunday night, the disciples are together again, Thomas with them, and the doors are locked. We learn from verse 19 that they locked the doors because they were afraid of the religious authorities. When Jesus’ body disappeared, the Jewish leadership spread the lie that His disciples had stolen it. So, they were understandably frightened, fearing they would be arrested.
Imagine how tense life was for them—they were still mourning Jesus’ death, and for a week, they had been living with the constant fear of arrest. As you can imagine, they were hiding behind locked doors. Then, out of nowhere, Jesus just appears in the room! I don’t know if He just apparated like Harry Potter, but I do know this would be terrifying. That’s why I love that Jesus’ first words are “Peace be with you.” If I were them, I would have thought, “Really, Jesus?! Peace be with you?? If you want us to be at peace, you could have knocked, Dumbledore! You gave us a heart attack.” All that aside…
Here’s the thing: the most significant part of this account is not the means of Jesus’ appearance, but His motivation in appearing. He came to see Thomas—Thomas who didn’t believe, Thomas who doubted. Jesus didn’t ignore him, blow him off, or tell him to ditch his doubts before He’d have anything to do with him. In this interaction, we learn three important things:
1. Jesus Invites Your Doubts.
Thomas is the first person Jesus speaks to. Furthermore, He engages Thomas where he is. He doesn’t rebuke him, yell at him, or make him feel foolish. Jesus simply engages him.
In a similar fashion, Jesus desires to engage you in your doubts. Sadly, we’re often reticent to bring them to Him. Instead, we hide our doubts, ignore them, or give up and embrace them altogether. But from Thomas’s experience, we learn that Jesus doesn’t want us hiding, ignoring, or embracing our doubts. Jesus wants you—the real you, right where you are. He wants you to bring your doubts to Him so that He can engage you right in the midst of them. This is largely John’s whole goal in writing this book. Like Jesus, he wanted to engage people in their doubts. John 21:31 says, “…these things are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in His name.”
Jesus isn’t afraid of your doubts. He invites them so you can come to Him.
2. Jesus Knows Your Doubts.
The fact that Jesus says, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side,” (John 20:27) indicates something important: Jesus knew that Thomas was consumed with doubt. He hadn’t even been in the room, but He knew exactly what Thomas had been thinking.
You may feel like no one understands you right now, but God does. He knows everything about you. And the truth is, that can be kind of unnerving. It’s unnerving when someone knows what you’re thinking, even when you’ve tried to hide it.
I’ve been married to my wife, Tami, for 19 years, and we’ve been together for 22 years. So, more often than not, she knows what I’m thinking. She understands me, and it can be unnerving. I’ll give you a humbling example. I remember when the “front tuck” was all the rage. But for some reason, I could never quite get it right. I always ended up with either too much or too little of my shirt tucked in. But one date night, I decided to go for it. I stood in front of the mirror for far too long, tried to get the perfect amount of my shirt tucked in, and then walked into the living room. Tami took one look at me, asked if I was trying out the front tuck, and burst out laughing. At first, I tried to shrug it off in denial, but inside I was busted. She knew and couldn’t suppress her laughter.
Now, to a far deeper degree, God knows you! That may feel unnerving, but Jesus is intimately in touch with each and every one of your doubts!
You may not talk about your doubts. You may not publicize them. You may lock them in your heart and put on a good show. But the only person you’re not fooling is Jesus. He knows your doubts just like He knew the doubts of Thomas. So, at the very least, get honest with Him about them.
3. Jesus Tends to Your Doubts.
I love that Jesus looks at Thomas in that place of deep vulnerability and gently says, “Don’t be faithless, but believe.” Once again, Jesus is the one who takes the initiative. Jesus came to Thomas, and He came with a specific purpose—to tend to Thomas’s doubt. He didn’t want Thomas to carry it forever.
It’s become a popular sentiment to encourage people to be skeptical about everything and to essentially live in a constant state of doubt and cynicism. But here’s the truth: drowning in constant doubt is a dreadful way to live. Doubt is a part of life, but it’s not a very good friend.
Doubt is kind of like my dog, Wicket.
He’s named after the most famous Ewok from Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi. He’s cute, and he loves when we cuddle with him. The problem is, he’s not really what you’d call a “people person”—meaning when a stranger comes close, he snaps at them. There have been times when a kid runs up to try to pet him, he snaps, the kid runs away crying, and I’m afraid I’m going to have to fight another parent.
My point is, you can’t hold something close that wants to hurt you.
What that means is this: doubt can be a dangerous friend. We all doubt—God’s big enough to bear the weight of our doubts—but Jesus didn’t want to leave Thomas in his doubt, and He doesn’t want to leave you in yours. So He called Thomas, and He’s calling you to relate with Him in a way that leads to deeper belief through your doubts.
Now, as the story closes, I want you to notice how Jesus’ focus shifts from Thomas to you and me.
“Thomas responded to Him, ‘My Lord and my God!’ Jesus said, ‘Because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.’”
- John 20:28-29
Thomas believed because he saw Jesus with his own eyes and touched the risen Jesus with his own hands. Jesus affirms his belief and then makes a promise to you and me.
“Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.”
You and I don’t have the luxury that Thomas had. Jesus isn’t sitting, flesh and blood, right next to you. You can’t see Him with your eyes and touch Him with your hands. But you do have the Spirit of God. You do have the Word of God. You can learn to hear God and experience God in prayer. And according to Jesus, there is a special blessing for us when we believe without seeing.
So here’s what you have to decide: Will you bring your doubts to Jesus? Will you be honest with Him about them? Will you invite some safe people into your doubts? Will you believe by faith that Jesus is who He says He is and does all He promises?
Jesus invites, already knows, and longs to tend to each and every doubt that arises in our lives. So let’s live in the open with Him.
I love this Ryan. Thank you.
What an invitation, where our doubts are invited that He might address and quell them. ♥️