Tending The Fire.

Addressing anger and avoiding outrage.

Hey Friends!

Before you jump into this week’s article, I just wanted to make sure that you were aware that The Lighthouse is a podcast too. Each week I record and post this same article, because I know some people prefer to listen rather than read. If that’s you, subscribe to The Lighthouse Podcast wherever you listen. For sake of ease, you can find links to subscribe on Spotify and Apple Podcasts below. I hope it’s helpful!

- Ryan

Outrage has become a defining mark of modern culture.

All it takes is a few swipes of social media to find it or watching any single segment of the cable news of your choice. What you’ll find is outrage. The source of the outrage changes from day to day and week to week, but its presence is constant.

Sadly, Christians aren’t immune. In fact, sometimes it feels like we’re leading the outrage parade. We saw this recently as Christian social media was on fire with the offense caused by the opening ceremonies of the 2024 Olympics in Paris. Plenty of thoughts and perspectives have been shared on this controversial event, so I won’t lend mine. I simply want to highlight the reaction that followed as an example of the outrage that more and more seems to mark our faith.

My question is, does this outrage lead to human flourishing?

Is it healthy for us to be so offended so frequently? Do we honor God by living in this constant state of intense outrage? All signs seem to say, “No.” Outrage affects us negatively on personal, societal, and spiritual levels.

Personal Impact

Continual outrage can lead to heightened stress, anxiety, and even depression. The emotional toll of constantly feeling angry or upset can deplete mental energy and resilience. Prolonged stress and anger are associated with various physical health problems, including cardiovascular issues, weakened immune systems, and sleep disturbances.

Societal Impact

Outrage often leads to increased polarization. People may become more entrenched in their beliefs, making constructive dialogue and compromise more difficult. This can widen societal divides and make it challenging to address complex issues. When people are constantly exposed to outrage, they may become desensitized, leading to a diminished response to serious issues. This can create a "boy who cried wolf" effect, where genuine concerns are ignored or downplayed. Outrage can fuel sensationalism and clickbait in media and online platforms, prioritizing emotional reactions over factual or nuanced discussions. This can erode the quality of public discourse and make it harder to discern truth from misinformation. Additionally, when we constantly view others as adversaries, it can erode empathy and understanding. It can lead to a lack of compassion and an inability to see things from other perspectives.

Spiritual Impact

Spiritually, we do well to heed the words of James. He warns, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness” (James 1:19-20). Would you agree that little could be further from our norm? You and I tend to be reluctant to listen. We are quick to speak. And it’s like we can’t wait to get angry.

To be clear, I’m in no way demonizing the emotion of anger. Anger is the emotion we feel in response to a perceived injustice. When something unjust happens, anger is the appropriate response. Most importantly, anger can’t be all wrong because God gets angry (Ex 32:10; Num 11:1; Isaiah 5:25). That being said, I would argue that it’s a dangerous mistake to automatically equate every experience of our own anger with the anger of God.

Additionally, I think there is a distinction to make between righteous anger and cultural outrage. The former is a reasoned and justified response. The latter is a volatile reaction that causes harm.

As I started to think through this article last week, I posted a simple note on Substack that said, “Outrage is not a fruit of the Spirit.” One reader responded with the question, “Was Jesus outraged when he flipped over the tables of the money changers in the temple as they desecrated the house of God?” As a result of that question, I went back to the Gospel accounts. There is no doubt that Jesus flipped over tables and drove merchants out of the temple (Matt. 21:12-13; Mark 11:15-17; Luke 19:45-46; John 2:13-16). But I think two things are worth noting:

• First, the text never specifically says Jesus was angry. Maybe He was, but the text doesn’t say that anger was what motivated Jesus’ response. This means we must be careful about reading an emotional motivation the text doesn’t specify.

• Second, Jesus drove out these merchants because they were prohibiting people’s ability to pray in the temple. That seems pretty specific to me and a far cry from many of the things that seem to enrage you and me.

My point is simply this: Anger isn’t sinful, but we must steward it carefully. Think of anger like fire. It’s good and serves an important purpose. And if you don’t keep an eye on it, it can burn out of control. So like a fire, it’s important we learn to tend to our anger, rather than spew it all over the internet. I find that a few good questions help me do just that. Here are five questions to tend to anger rather than react with outrage:

1. What am I feeling?

There is incredible power in naming what you’re feeling. This is especially true with anger. To be clear, I’m no neuroscientist, but even a three-time college dropout like me can understand the basics of this. Anger triggers your amygdala. This is the brain’s alarm system, responsible for detecting and reacting to threats and strong emotions like fear and anger. Your amygdala activates your fight/flight/freeze response. This results in emotional dysregulation. But when we do something as simple as name what we’re feeling, we activate our prefrontal cortex. This area, located at the front of the brain, is involved in complex behaviors including planning, decision-making, and moderating social behavior. It helps regulate emotional responses by controlling the amygdala. So rather than react, we can return to a regulated state and respond to our anger in a healthy manner. But all of this starts by simply identifying what we’re feeling.

2. Why am I angry?

Once you’ve identified your anger, you can start to explore the source of it. Remember, anger is your response to some injustice. So what is the perceived injustice causing your anger? What has happened that has made you angry? Now, let me give you a quick word of caution here. One of the many things that makes anger tricky is that it often serves as a mask for other emotions, like sadness and fear. This is especially true for men. As men, we’re sadly still conditioned to see sadness and fear as signs of weakness. Anger is far more “acceptable” in masculine culture. It also gives a false sense of control. I’m not saying that you aren’t actually angry. I’m simply saying that there is often more at play in the midst of it. So slow down and do the uncomfortable work of figuring out why you’re angry.

3. Do I have all the information?

We live in a time when people spew outrage without checking their facts. We see a post online that makes us angry, then we click share to spread that outrage further. The problem is, we’re seeing more and more examples of false information spreading like wildfire across social media. We’ve lost the simple check that says, “Maybe I should do a little more digging and make sure I understand this situation all the way.” As a result, we’re often outraged at situations and circumstances that aren’t even real. So slow down and ask, “Do I have all the information?”

4. What assumptions might I be making?

One of the biggest mistakes we make is assuming we know the motives of others. We assume others are intentionally mocking something we hold sacred. We assume others are trying to offend us. We assume there is malicious intent behind the actions of others. The problem is, you and I can’t truly know another person’s motives. They are invisible to us. So assuming them is always a risk. Instead, learn to seek clarification prior to criticism. When possible, ask more questions. At the very least, be careful about assuming things you can’t truly know. Before you fly off the handle online, or over a text message, stop and ask, “What assumptions might I be making?”

5. How can I express this anger fruitfully?

Let’s say you’ve done all that hard work and you do, in fact, have good reason to be angry. Again, there are many times in life in which you have every right to be righteously angry. The question still remains, how do you express it in a way that is fruitful to you and those around you? It may feel good in the moment to blow someone up verbally, but is that fruitful? Is it good for you? Is it edifying to others? Does that follow in the gentle, patient, kind, and loving footsteps of Jesus? If not, then it’s not fruitful.

One fruitful way to express your anger is prayer. Psalm 10, 35, 58, 69, and 109 are all examples of anger expressed in prayer. God is always a safe place to express our anger in an unfiltered manner. Furthermore, we can invite the Holy Spirit to give us wisdom and help us think clearly and critically about what we’re feeling and how we can best express it.

I want to reiterate that anger is an important, justified, and valid emotional experience. It serves a purpose in our lives. Most importantly, we feel it because we’re created in the image of a good God who also gets angry at injustice. Because of this, it’s important that we tend to it carefully. When we don’t, we’re at risk of filling the world with more outrage that further poisons our own souls and the souls of those on the receiving end of it. So let’s tend to our anger and leave the outrage behind.