Three Act Prayer

Expressing the Full Experience of Life to God.

Prayer is our oldest spiritual habit.

Long before people were reading the Scriptures, fasting, or gathering for corporate worship, they were praying. Prayer is the only spiritual practice we see from the opening pages of Genesis to the final chapters of Revelation. Since the beginning of time, humanity has been talking to the transcendent God of the universe.

Because of this, you’d think that would make prayer the most natural and intuitive spiritual practice. But in my experience, prayer can often feel like one of the most challenging and discouraging habits to maintain.

As a result, there is probably no single subject I’ve spent more time sitting with than prayer. In the wake of this, I’m increasingly convinced that one of the greatest enemies of the spiritual life is sanitized prayer. Life is messy, full of hardship and heartbreak, yet many of us have been taught to filter all of that out of our prayers. Instead of coming to God with raw honesty, we present a polished, edited version of ourselves. And the consequences have been devastating.

The Problem with Sanitized Prayer

Let me give you an example.

I’ve been dealing with a shoulder injury for years. It started back when I played football and worsened after a workout injury. I saw someone about it once, but after a couple of physical therapy visits, I stopped going. I thought, Maybe it’ll get better on its own if I just ignore it long enough. Spoiler: it didn’t. Now, it wakes me up at night, hurts during workouts, and limits my mobility. It’s bad.

And this is what many of us do with prayer. We act as if life doesn’t hurt. We pray as if everything is fine, even when it’s not. We avoid acknowledging the pain, fear, or frustration that’s eating away at us, hoping it will go away on its own.

This is why so many of the Psalms sound foreign—even shocking—to us. They are raw, honest, and full of the messy emotions we’ve been taught to suppress in our prayers. Walter Brueggemann, a renowned Old Testament scholar, describes the Psalms as “disorientation addressed to God.” They are messy and real because life is messy and real.

The good news is, Scripture teaches us that prayer doesn’t have to be sanitized. In fact, it shouldn’t be.

And Psalm 13 gives us a powerful framework for what raw, honest prayer looks like. This six-verse prayer flows like a three-act play. Each act shows us a vital element of prayer: expressing our experience, asking for what we need, and choosing to trust God’s love.

Act One: Express Your Experience to God (Psalm 13:1–2)

David begins this prayer with raw honesty:

“How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long will I store up anxious concerns within me, agony in my mind every day?”

This isn’t polite or sanitized. David accuses God of forgetting him and hiding from him. H paints a picture of storing up the things he’s anxious about and describes his mental state as “agonizing.” In short, he lays his emotional turmoil bare.

Most of us don’t pray like this because we’re not honest about our own emotions. And that makes sense. Many of us grew up in homes or cultures where emotions weren’t invited or validated. Some of us experienced trauma that caused us to shut down emotionally. And let’s be honest: men, in particular, are often taught that to be strong and resilient means suppressing difficult emotions.

But here’s the truth: before you can be honest with God about your experience, you have to be honest with yourself.

Reflection Question:

When you sit down to pray, start by asking yourself, “What am I experiencing and feeling right now?” Then, express that experience to God—no filter, no edits.

Act Two: Ask for What You Need from God (Psalm 13:3–4)

After pouring out his emotions, David makes a bold request:

“Consider me and answer, Lord my God. Restore brightness to my eyes; otherwise, I will sleep in death.”

David doesn’t hold back. He asks God for exactly what he needs.

But here’s the thing: sometimes we don’t ask. As James 4:2 says, “You do not have because you do not ask.” God is often willing to meet our needs, but He’s waiting for us to come to Him and ask.

Think about this:

The week before Christmas, my wife, Tami, got a flat tire while running errands. She pulled over, called me, and I came to help. Then I drove the car to the shop to get it fixed. But imagine if I hadn’t taken the car to the shop. Help was right there, willing and waiting to solve my problem. Nothing would have been fixed—not because they couldn’t do it, but because I never asked.

This is exactly what we do with prayer when we hold back from asking God for what we need. Sometimes we forfeit God’s help simply because we forget to ask for it. His arms are extended. His hands are open. All He invites us to do is ask.

Reflection Question:

What do you need from God right now? Is it comfort? Wisdom? Peace? Boldly ask Him for it.

Act Three: Choose to Trust God’s Love (Psalm 13:5–6)

David ends the Psalm with these words:

“But I have trusted in your faithful love; my heart will rejoice in your deliverance.”

Here’s what’s remarkable: nothing in David’s circumstances has changed between verse 4 and verse 5. His problems haven’t been solved. And yet, he chooses to trust in God’s faithful love.

This is an expression of faith. David refuses to let his feelings define God’s character. Instead, he anchors his hope in who God is and what God has promised.

Walter Brueggemann puts it this way:

“Sometimes in a world where the circumstances are hopeless…a promissory word is all that stands between us and the chaos.”

God has promised that He loves you, is always with you, and the that He will somehow redeem every hardship in your life. We don’t know when. We don’t know how. But you can hold to these promises by faith.

Reflection Question:

What has God done in the past that reminds you He is faithful? Make a list of His past faithfulness to strengthen your trust in His love today.

Prayer as a Spiritual Habit

Prayer is expressing the full experience of life to God—our emotions, our needs, and our trust. But how do we make this kind of prayer a habit?

Let’s revisit the principles of habit formation (thanks Atomic Habits!) we discussed last week:

1. Identity: Start with who you want to become. Affirm, “I am a person of prayer.”

2. Make It Obvious: Determine when and where you will pray.

3. Make It Attractive: Consider how you will pray (e.g., silently, out loud, journaling) and pair it with something you enjoy.

4. Make It Easy: Start small, even with just five minutes a day.

5. Make It Satisfying: Celebrate showing up—write down, “I prayed today,” or track your habit.

Closing Thoughts

Prayer doesn’t have to be sanitized. God welcomes your raw, honest, messy prayers. So take time this week to express your experience, ask for what you need, and choose to trust His love.

You can kick, scream, cry, or whisper—just don’t hold back and don’t self-censor. God is ready to meet you in the full reality of your life.

So, will you bring your whole heart to Him in prayer?