When You Feel Forgotten
The truth about what God feels toward you.
Not a reader? Subscribe and listen to The Lighthouse Podcast!
There is immense power in sitting with a good question.
For one thing, sitting with a good question encourages deep reflection in a world plagued by shallow thought. A good question can help you slow down and be curious rather than hurried and unaware. A good question can help you think critically rather than simply swallow everything we’re fed by our surrounding culture. A good question can cultivate humility, reminding you there’s much you don’t have figured out. Ultimately, sitting with a good question can unlock new ways of seeing, thinking, and even feeling.
Clearly, there is power in sitting with a good question.
To that end, I want to ask you what I believe is one of the most important questions for you to consider. You ready? Here it is:
What do you believe God feels toward you?
The reason that question is so important is that your experience of relationship with God is informed by what you believe about Him. And your answer to that question says a lot about who you believe God to be and what you believe He is like.
The challenge is, your beliefs about God, including your understanding of His feelings toward you, are influenced by a complex collection of factors. These factors include your childhood relationships with caregivers, your life experiences, the sermons you’ve heard, the songs you’ve sung, the books you’ve read, and the community you’ve been a part of.
If all those factors have been healthy, so is your experience of God. But even if they’ve been healthy, they certainly haven’t been perfect. Furthermore, many of those factors have been far from healthy for most of us. Which means, much of our life with God requires untangling what we’ve been told and relearning who God truly is.
So let me ask you again:
What do you believe God feels toward you?
If my own struggles and the countless conversations I’ve had with others surrounding this question are any indication, I’m afraid your answer is probably less than encouraging.
Maybe you believe God feels perpetually irritated with you. Perhaps your many flaws and failures are so prominent in your mind, you’re convinced they must sit front and center in His.
Maybe you believe God feels outright angry with you. Perhaps you live with constant dread, just waiting for Him to drop a divine hammer on your head.
Maybe you believe God feels disappointed with you. Perhaps you don’t feel his anger or irritation, but maybe worse, there is a lingering sense that He shakes His head sadly due to your inability to live up to your potential.
Maybe you believe God feels nothing for you. Perhaps you feel unseen, misunderstood, or forgotten.
The truth is, we probably believe God feels a mixture of these things toward us all the time. And I want you to see the devastating impact this has on your experience of relationship with Him. None of these beliefs invite us to draw near and know God deeply. In fact, each of these beliefs drives us into hiding.
Furthermore, God claims to feel something for you that is far from any of this. Which means, we have to mind the gap between our beliefs and God’s claims.
One passage of Scripture that really helps is Isaiah 49:13-15.
The historical context of Isaiah 49 is rooted in the period of Judah’s impending exile to Babylon (which would happen in 586 BC), and the hope of restoration after that exile.
At this point, the Israelites, particularly the exiled ones, are struggling with feelings of abandonment and despair. They are wondering if God has truly forsaken them, as their situation seems hopeless.
Sound familiar? This is a place we all find ourselves at least from time to time.
The chapter as a whole addresses these feelings, offering comfort and assurances of God’s unwavering faithfulness and compassion.
Let’s look at these three verses one at a time.
God’s Promise of Compassion (Isaiah 49:13)
“Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the Lord has comforted his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.”
Let’s keep this verse in its historical context to start. Notice that God promises comfort driven by the deep compassion He feels for His people, particularly in their season of affliction. This is nothing but good news!
Furthermore, this same promise is made to all God’s people going forward. In Matthew 5:4, Jesus says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Paul said, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort. He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
Scripture is flooded with a promise you need to let seep into your heart: When God looks at you, He feels immense compassion.
I would define compassion as the loving longing to alleviate suffering. This is God’s emotional motive driving His promise to comfort us. He feels compassion for us. Not anger, irritation, disappointment, nor indifference. He feels compassion for us.
The problem is, we don’t always believe that.
The Emotional Objection (Isaiah 49:14)
In verse 14, Israel responds to God’s promise saying,
“The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.”
This objection should sound familiar to us. It’s the same one we feel quite frequently. Despite God’s claim to feel compassion and His promise to draw near and bring comfort, we’re prone to at least wonder if He has forsaken and forgotten us.
In our struggles, it’s easy to feel like God has forgotten us. When our pain is great and it feels our prayers go unanswered, it’s normal to think, “The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.” This is the language of abandonment, one of the most painful experiences possible in our lives.
But here’s what I love about God: He doesn’t scold Israel in their disbelief, and He certainly doesn’t scold us in ours. Listen to what He says next.
God’s Compassion Compared to a Mother’s (Isaiah 49:15)
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!”
I love that God compares His compassion and care for us to that of a nursing mother. A mother’s bond with her child may just be the epitome of unconditional love. A mother’s love is natural, instinctive, and deeply rooted. It’s almost mystical…most of the time.
Sometimes a mother does fail to feel compassion toward her child. Sometimes a mother does neglect the care a child desperately needs. Sometimes a mother’s own wounds prohibit her from forming the attachment a child requires. This may have even been your experience. If so, God comparing His own compassion to that of a mother’s may cause a massive disconnect for you. The same is true when God is referred to as our “Father.”
But that is what makes God’s words here so healing. He anticipates the possibility of this disconnect. God knows that sometimes mothers and fathers are unable to experience this natural and instinctive bond with their children. So He says, “And even if they do in fact forget, I will not forget you!” God feels a compassion for us that only a perfect mother would feel. God promises us comfort that only a perfect mother could provide.
So God isn’t saying, “I’m just like your mom.” He’s saying, “Imagine that your mother had the capacity to love and care for you perfectly. That’s how I love and care for you.”
Living in the Assurance of God’s Compassion
So let me ask you this again:
What do you believe God feels toward you?
If your answer isn’t compassion, then you’ve misunderstood God’s heart toward you. Even when you feel forgotten, God’s compassion is unwavering.
Now, here’s the thing: Information is important, but information alone rarely transforms us. Experience does that. Which means we need to position ourselves to actually experience God’s compassion and comfort. I want to help you do just that.
One of the most helpful ways we can move toward a more experiential encounter with God is through imaginative prayer. Imaginative Prayer, also known as the “Application of the Senses,” traces its origins to St. Ignatius of Loyola (1491–1556). Ignatius developed this practice as a way for individuals to engage deeply with Scripture by using their imagination to enter into biblical stories, particularly those from the Gospels. So the goal is not only to experience them more deeply, but to hear what God wants to say to us within them.
So this week at The Lighthouse Podcast, I would love to guide you through an imaginative prayer, using these very verses from Isaiah 49. My hope is that it will help you connect with and experience God’s compassion and care more deeply. (You can find the podcast here.) I would also love to hear what that experience is like for you. So drop a comment or message me.
And if any reason you don’t sit with that practice, consider taking a few minutes to get quiet with God.
Admit that sometimes you feel forgotten by Him.
Ask Him to help you experience His compassion and care more deeply.
Because I promise that’s a prayer to which He longs to say, “Yes.”
Thank you for writing this! It was very timely for me to see the Father’s heart through what you wrote.
This is truly helpful. I was once led in an imaginative prayer encounter where I was told to ask Jesus what he thought of me.
Oh dread, was my initial thought.
But, with encouragement, I imagined asking Jesus face to face what he thought of me.
Immediately he lit up like a searchlight, exploding in the brightest, sparkling light, laughing and smiling broadly, he asked me- “Why do you have to ask. I see myself in you.”
My relationship with him has never been the same.