Never Alone

Increasing our awareness of God's surrounding presence.

There is immense comfort in the presence of someone who cares for us.

Little kids are a great example of this. I have many memories of playing outside with our kids when they were young. We filled the driveway with chalk art in the spring, ran through the sprinklers in the summer, jumped in the leaves in the fall, and built snowmen in the winter. I also remember many times when we were outside and they needed something inside. It might have been a particular toy, a snack, or a bathroom break. The problem was, our entire family was outside, and the prospect of going inside meant they would be alone. The idea of being out of our presence filled them with anxiety. As a result, they often asked either myself or my wife, Tami, to accompany them inside. Our presence brought them security, strength, and comfort.

There is immense comfort in the presence of someone who cares for us.

Now, obviously, as we get older, we learn that it’s safe, even healthy, to have stretches of time outside the presence of others. For instance:

• Solitude allows you to step back from the constant noise and pressures of life, which can help in processing emotions.

• Solitude can help to calm the nervous system, reducing stress and anxiety.

• Solitude frees you from the distractions of external voices, allowing you to tune into your inner thoughts, motivations, and feelings.

• Solitude offers an opportunity for rest and renewal, which can lead to increased energy and focus when re-engaging with the world.

• Solitude often sparks creativity and fresh perspectives. It creates space for your mind to wander freely, leading to new ideas, spiritual insights, and personal revelations that might otherwise remain hidden.

Despite all these benefits, being alone is often anxiety-producing. Part of you might still feel like a small child who gets anxious outside the presence of others. This happens for a variety of reasons. One of the most common is the tendency to conflate solitude with isolation. But there is a world of difference between these two experiences. The key difference is intention. Solitude is a deliberate practice of withdrawing to connect more deeply with God and oneself. Your goal isn’t to be alone; your goal is to be with God and yourself in a deeper manner. Solitude results in all the aforementioned benefits.

In contrast, isolation is a state of withdrawal often driven by fear, pain, or avoidance. It leaves us feeling empty and disconnected. As I’ve noted before, it also has profound consequences over time. Individuals who report feeling lonely are more likely to experience conditions such as dementia, heart disease, and stroke. One specialist has reported that chronic loneliness has effects on our health equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes per day. So it’s no wonder that the idea of isolation leaves us with feelings of dread. You and I aren’t designed to be alone.

This is why we have to clearly understand the difference between isolation and solitude. Richard Foster writes, “Loneliness is inner emptiness. Solitude is inner fulfillment.”¹ Where solitude replenishes the soul, nurturing spiritual growth and emotional health, isolation tends to deplete, leaving a sense of separation from both God and others.

I bring all this up because there is one reality we have to embrace if we are going to both reap the benefits of solitude and combat the loneliness epidemic that we’re experiencing as a culture. The reality is simple:

There is never a single moment when you are not surrounded by God’s presence.

One of the most compelling reminders of this comes to us from King David. David was no stranger to seasons of isolation, loneliness, and loss. Yet, against the backdrop of all this, he wrote:

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? To be out of your sight?

If I climb to the sky, you’re there! If I go underground, you’re there!

If I flew on morning’s wings to the far western horizon,

You’d find me in a minute—you’re already there waiting!

Then I said to myself, “Oh, he even sees me in the dark!

At night I’m immersed in the light!”

It’s a fact: darkness isn’t dark to you; night and day, darkness and light, they’re all the same to you.

—Psalm 139:7-12 (The Message)

Reading these verses makes me think about our dog, Wicket. There is no one in our family that Wicket loves more than my wife. Wicket follows Tami everywhere. If she’s out back on the deck, Wicket is by her side. If she’s in the kitchen, Wicket is posted up across from her on the sofa. If she has to run downstairs, Wicket goes with her. If my poor wife takes two seconds to run to the bathroom, Wicket waits outside the door. When Tami finally goes to bed at night, Wicket lays next to our bed and stays there until she wakes in the morning. He never lets her out of his sight.

This is how David describes God’s presence. He surrounds us at all times. He is always with us. There is nowhere we could go that He is not. In short, we are never truly alone. The challenge is, you and I move through much of life largely unaware of His surrounding presence. We don’t hear His voice. We don’t see His hand. We don’t feel His presence. But the problem is never God’s absence. The problem is always our awareness. Which means, we are invited to nurture a deeper awareness of God’s surrounding presence.

Allow me to finish by sharing four choices that have helped me:

1. Start the day with God.

I grew up hearing some pretty heavy-handed sermons on what I would call the “spiritual superiority” of starting the day with God. The subtext always seemed to be that “good Christians” are morning people who love to wake up and pray. To be clear, I think that’s absurd. There is nothing spiritually superior about the morning. My invitation to start the day with God is purely pragmatic. We are more mindful of God’s presence throughout the day when we begin the day with Him.

So, consider beginning each day by inviting God to make you mindfully aware of His presence. A morning prayer, Scripture reading, or quiet reflection can help attune you to and ground you in His surrounding presence.

2. Schedule moments of pause.

In the busyness of daily life, setting intentional pauses allows you to reconnect with God. These brief moments of stillness—whether through prayer, simply breathing and being with God, or reflecting on some part of His character or nature—anchor you in His presence, reminding you that He’s with you in every activity and decision throughout the day.

3. Look for Him throughout the day.

Again, God is always present, but we often overlook Him in the midst of life’s many hurried responsibilities. By training yourself to seek God in everyday situations—through interactions, nature, or unexpected blessings—you’ll become more attuned to His surrounding presence and love in both the big and small ways He chooses to display it.

Here’s a simple question that helps me with this: “God, where are You in what I’m experiencing right now?” I find that when I’m willing to ask that question, He is almost always anxious to answer.

4. Reflect back on where He was.

One way we learn to be aware of God’s presence in the present moment is by reflecting on how we have experienced Him in the past. So, at the end of the day, consider taking time to reflect on where you sensed God’s presence. Journaling has a powerful way of helping us do just that. If you’re not sure where to start, circle back on my previous article about how to incorporate the prayer of Examen into your daily journaling. The more you begin to see where God’s been, the better positioned you’ll be to recognize where He is.

God longs for you to know His surrounding presence. So, before you continue scrolling through your phone or move on with your day, I want to invite you to stop for just a moment.

Close your eyes.

Take a few deep breaths.

And hear the very voice of God speaking over you, saying…

“I surround you all the time.”

1. Richard J. Foster, Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth, Special Anniversary Edition (San Francisco: HarperOne, 2018).